The World's Best Excuse

Isn't it wonderful when one excuse works for everything?  I find everyone pointing to the economy for their own little problems.

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't make my car payment on time.  You know how it is, money is so tight with the economy..."

"I apologize for not buying a nicer baby shower gift.  The economy is so crappy these days..."

"I would have bought you flowers for our anniversary, honey, but I figured with the economy the way it is, I shouldn't be buying stuff for you that will die in a week..."

"Sorry, kids, no summer vacation this year.  You know how it is with a failing economy..."

"I'm sorry my dog ran out of our yard and mauled your child--with the economy being so bad right now, I just couldn't fork over the money to fence in our pit bull..."

"The economy has been so bad, I've been using wads of toilet paper instead of buying sanitary pads for my period each month..."

"I apologize for selling our kids on eBay, honey, but some extra cash was just the ticket with this horrid economy..."

"I'm sorry for selling the house, but I figured we could live just as well in a tent in my mom's backyard..."

"I'm going to have to pass on sex tonight, hon.  This economy has me really down..."

And, same goes for reasons to "stimulate the economy."

"I just had to buy these stillettos, honey--I'm doing my part to stimulate the economy."

"Buying a round of beers for my friends was a great idea to help stimulate the economy."

"Hey honey, I'm feeling horny.  How about we 'stimulate the economy?'" 

Ah, yes, it's so versatile...